One year ago
I wanna talk today about what happen last year, I believe everything was wrong and could be different and I run miles for it didn't happen, but was like nothing I had tried would work differently. Sometimes I feel like surviving the cancer was a punishment, I'm sorry to say that, but I can't lie to you, specially because you know all my toughs and I didn't feel that all the time, sometimes think that was a bless too.
You know how it start and as always I try overlook what people do to me, I want believe in sincerity, honesty and friendship, and I take long to realize they are not using those things with me. I didn't ask people to listen me but I'm a good listener, I don't compete with them but they compete with me, you know the pattern, and by the time I began to notice what they are doing I turn away from them, so since 2008 I realize our friendship exist because she need somebody trustful to talk to and I was ok with it, but the minimum you expect in this situation is be treat with some respect.
But it wasn't happening in her wedding I was treated like she don't want be close to me, woa my husband walked her to the aisle because her father can't do that, the unique picture I have with her in that day was one that I asked for, from that day on I could not fool myself anymore, that kind of friendship wasn't making any good to me, so I decided to walk away little by little, but in 2009 I had cancer and she completely changed, became a hands on friend, ready to help me and once again I get carried away by my own need.
That was a really difficult years for me, because I believed I would die and I wasn't sad with it, you know that too, I tough was the right time to back home, but you had others plan for me, my excitement and positivity reunited people around me, you put your angels in my way and I could survive in a year we I was fine. just fighting with the treatment side effects, then everything began to return to what it was before. But this time I was already more aware and quickly realized the change and started to pull away. I will never forget what she did for me and I'm very grateful for everything and everyone who were at my side in that period and in respect to that I closed my mouth and kept this friendship for another 4 years, during those four years she did everything again and I reached my limit.
Up to that time my husband had already become very attached to her family and even I was saying to him how I felt, he did not want to believe it, that things hurt so much
You know how it start and as always I try overlook what people do to me, I want believe in sincerity, honesty and friendship, and I take long to realize they are not using those things with me. I didn't ask people to listen me but I'm a good listener, I don't compete with them but they compete with me, you know the pattern, and by the time I began to notice what they are doing I turn away from them, so since 2008 I realize our friendship exist because she need somebody trustful to talk to and I was ok with it, but the minimum you expect in this situation is be treat with some respect.
But it wasn't happening in her wedding I was treated like she don't want be close to me, woa my husband walked her to the aisle because her father can't do that, the unique picture I have with her in that day was one that I asked for, from that day on I could not fool myself anymore, that kind of friendship wasn't making any good to me, so I decided to walk away little by little, but in 2009 I had cancer and she completely changed, became a hands on friend, ready to help me and once again I get carried away by my own need.
That was a really difficult years for me, because I believed I would die and I wasn't sad with it, you know that too, I tough was the right time to back home, but you had others plan for me, my excitement and positivity reunited people around me, you put your angels in my way and I could survive in a year we I was fine. just fighting with the treatment side effects, then everything began to return to what it was before. But this time I was already more aware and quickly realized the change and started to pull away. I will never forget what she did for me and I'm very grateful for everything and everyone who were at my side in that period and in respect to that I closed my mouth and kept this friendship for another 4 years, during those four years she did everything again and I reached my limit.
Up to that time my husband had already become very attached to her family and even I was saying to him how I felt, he did not want to believe it, that things hurt so much
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