Starting our conversation
I need talk with you. I need tell you how do I felt today.
Today I went to visit a friend in a hospital and I thank you because I know she will be OK, and I know you are taking care her: but my conversation with you is about what I felt there, how that made me cry, how I missed that place, and how incapable I became to be back there doing what I really love.
I miss that time when I used to have no Time to back home. The time I spent talking with my patients, telling than what their problems were and what we would do to help them and what they could do to help themselves, to me theses moments were pure joy, see the weakness becomes strength and watch them go back to theirs families walking in their own feet and leaving for me a thankful smile, that was the best gift!
Sometimes thing didn't work out the way we had plan, and we loose our dearest patient, omg I used to go to someplace where I could be alone and cry, cry,cry until no tears were left. Even in those cases considered final, for me doesn't mater, I always believed in miracle and I was always waiting for one, after cry I usually prayed and asked you for strength and sapience, because a never learned how to deal with that emptiness that I felt in those situations. Many times I mourning with the patient families, I was part of their lives and also the loss.
Normally when I had a patient in coma I used to sing to them, I asked to the family to tell as much as possible about their day by day preferences: music, sports, food everything they could remember and I used everything to help them fight for their lives.
Once one of my patient recovered from coma and was transferred from the ICU to the private room in my day off, when I came next day I went check on his file on the private area, his room's door were open and when I asked the nurse for his room, he said: "Came here I need see your face because you were the voice who sang for me and told me everyday about how good my life was and how I would be missed if I didn't fight back, and I never thought I had a good life." I will never forget these words, today at the hospital all my memories were alive. All my fights for my patient were there in my memory, all my crying and all my laughing were there calling me back, but I can't return, the life had left me with some limitation and my love and responsibility won't let me be back.
I'm sure from now on I will find a way to be close enough and do something, I didn't figure out yet what, but I have you to help me with that, after all you saved my life for something.
Sol
Today I went to visit a friend in a hospital and I thank you because I know she will be OK, and I know you are taking care her: but my conversation with you is about what I felt there, how that made me cry, how I missed that place, and how incapable I became to be back there doing what I really love.
I miss that time when I used to have no Time to back home. The time I spent talking with my patients, telling than what their problems were and what we would do to help them and what they could do to help themselves, to me theses moments were pure joy, see the weakness becomes strength and watch them go back to theirs families walking in their own feet and leaving for me a thankful smile, that was the best gift!
Sometimes thing didn't work out the way we had plan, and we loose our dearest patient, omg I used to go to someplace where I could be alone and cry, cry,cry until no tears were left. Even in those cases considered final, for me doesn't mater, I always believed in miracle and I was always waiting for one, after cry I usually prayed and asked you for strength and sapience, because a never learned how to deal with that emptiness that I felt in those situations. Many times I mourning with the patient families, I was part of their lives and also the loss.
Normally when I had a patient in coma I used to sing to them, I asked to the family to tell as much as possible about their day by day preferences: music, sports, food everything they could remember and I used everything to help them fight for their lives.
Once one of my patient recovered from coma and was transferred from the ICU to the private room in my day off, when I came next day I went check on his file on the private area, his room's door were open and when I asked the nurse for his room, he said: "Came here I need see your face because you were the voice who sang for me and told me everyday about how good my life was and how I would be missed if I didn't fight back, and I never thought I had a good life." I will never forget these words, today at the hospital all my memories were alive. All my fights for my patient were there in my memory, all my crying and all my laughing were there calling me back, but I can't return, the life had left me with some limitation and my love and responsibility won't let me be back.
I'm sure from now on I will find a way to be close enough and do something, I didn't figure out yet what, but I have you to help me with that, after all you saved my life for something.
Sol
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